#Sometimes he’d remember her #he’d gotten so good at burying her in the recesses of his mind #but on the dark nights in the TARDIS when the Ponds were sleeping and everything was too quiet #he’d think of her #He’d imagine how she would have reacted and what she would have done #(Sometimes he’d even imagine a timeline without meta-crises) #And just for the night he would lose himself in the Could Have Beens #He knows his time was ending soon - knows that his death is waiting for him on that beach #But on the nights where Rose filled his thoughts no beaches ever touched his thoughts - Bad Wolf or otherwise #EVERYTHING IS DOCTOR AND ROSE AND EVERY SINGLE DAMN THING HURTS